Fuls

No, I didn't misspell that. Right now, I'm feeling two "ful"s.

Thankful.

Neglectful.

Let's start with the easy one. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday....for the same reason I love birthdays. I find it wonderful to take a minute to remember all of the reasons I'm grateful. It is amazing when you start counting your blessings...how many you find. Big ones...small ones. We all know it is easier to see what is wrong, but I find that when I start to look for things that are right, they become all I can see.

Well, the above statement now makes it easy for me to right about "the hard one". Neglectful. I have been sorely neglecting my swim,bike,whating life. After setting a great goal...I found myself challenged by life and rejecting anything extra...like running.

Which is such a wrong move. For me when I run I feel like life is clearer. With each breath I clean out the bad and breathe in the room for change. So when I get stressed and then stop running it compounds everything. Of course then I also start eating wrong...which then makes it even worse.

Whoa. Put on the brakes. I'm loosing focus of the good things. There are good things that come from neglect. Like this morning when I finally laced up my shoes and started out. I thought "oh, you'll be just fine. You went running a week ago on a tough course and pounded it out." Oh, cockiness. Such a fickle friend.

It became evident, pretty quickly, no, it wasn't going to be easy. But I did it. At one point in this journey I would have quit. But I didn't. And I'm so grateful to be at this point.

So now we head off to Thanksgiving weekend. To celebrate, I'm stopping at every moment I get to be thankful. And starting a new tradition....the Turkey Trot!

Hosted by Alisa HERE:

The good, the bad and the PR

It's funny because on the runs where I feel the worst - I tend to do the best.
And when I end feeling good, I've usually gone slower.

Today's run started off since I left the house at 7:00am and not 6:30am like I've been trying to do. The first mile felt sluggish and sloppy...and I had to keep reminding myself:

"Just get past the first mile, just get past the first mile...".

I must have made up some good time since I finished with a new PR. Such a good PR that I am almost to the next minute per mile bracket - SEVEN!

My two mile run was done in 16:03. About 8:01 per mile. Which means my last mile might have actually been less...since my first mile was the slow one...

That's the good news.

The bad news is that I know my form was off. My back is a little sore and I felt like I spent a lot of time correcting my posture. Even though I'm focused on time right now, I do thinmk it would be a good idea for me to slow down and strengthen my form...

Don't really want to get hurt again...that sucks.

But for now, until tomorrow's run, I'll just be happy with my new PR!

Reframing

After running this morning I realized that it's time for a new goal. I don't have a race until November when it's Turkey Trot time...and for some reason that isn't really motivating me.

Then RunMan told me last night since August he's booked a mighty 196 miles.

ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY SIX F#*(@NG MILES!

According to my DailyMile I've only logged 273 miles this year.

Ok. Ok. I'm not being fair to myself. Let's reframe that.

I ran NO miles last year. Zip, zilch, zero!

I've run a whopping 273 this year.

Plus there are runs, rides and swims I didn't log.

So, rather than compare myself to RunMan I want to remember what life was like a year ago.

What my mind was like a year ago - "Me, run?" No way! "Me, do a triathlon?" You have to be out of your freaking mind!

But, those both started out as lofty goals. And I do run. And I did do a triathlon. Given that, I'd like to set a new reachable goal.

I'd like to hit 350 miles at the end of the year.

Seventy-seven more miles. That puts me running two miles every other day from now until December 31st. I didn't factor in that some family run nights we run almost four miles - but I figure that will account for any time I can't get my run in.

So here's to the next 77 and to finishing 2009 strong!!

It's Tuesday!

Tuesdays have new meaning in my life.

It's Family Run Day!

Tonight we'll pack up SwimKid and RunKid and head out. Three, maybe four, miles.

Last week we took it slow so that both kids could run if they wanted to - which meant a lot of stop/starting and holding hands.

I loved it. Especially the image of RunMan and SwimKid behind me jogging along.

Tonight I'm hoping for a little more consistent of a run especially since it's a bit rainy.

Either way, I love that THIS is what we do on Tuesday nights.

Denial

For so many years of my life I haven't believed I could be a runner. It was something beyond "it's just not in me" to something I fundamentally believed inside of myself. Excuses, like vultures, circled around it. Asthma...weight...time...shoes...knees...weight...asthma...you name it.

Then I started running. And with time I've come to understand that I can be a runner.

I don't go far. I don't go fast. But I run. Does it still count?

Last month on NPR I heard an author talking about his new book - on running. I had kids running around my feet so I could not really pay much attention but I did catch the title:

Born to Run

I placed a hold at the library - and for the last week have been devoring this book whenever I can sneak in time. It is a phenomenal book full of tales from running present to past. The main theme of the book - we were born to run

The author, Christopher McDougall, centers the tale around his glimpse into the ultramarathon running world, especially that of the Tarahumara in Mexico.

It has given me such food for thought. It has renewed my passion to continue this sport. And it gives me power.

Last night my little family of four ventured out on our second "family run night". RunMan usually runs at night and I typically run in the morning - that way we both get our run time in without missing out on other activities. Last Tuesday we went for a run together at night and agreed we needed to make it a habit. At about mile 1.5 I was tired. Mostly because I was dreading another 1.5 miles back. RunMan had to do four miles that night so I slowed down and flipped around - pushing the boys in the jogger that we call a "baler". (think hay baler...that is where the boys got the name)

The boys kept taking turns hopping in and out for short bouts of running. When RunMan caught up with us RunKid, my five year-old, gladly hopped out and took off with him. SwimKid, my three year-old who is a natural born swimmer, was content to stay in the baler.

Their energy and excitement helped me forget the last 1.5 miles and we made it home.

But last night? Last night was different. Again RunMan needed to do 4 miles. This time I didn't hesitate to join him. All because of one thing I read in the book that Dr. Dennis Bramble (go Utes!) said:

"Just move your legs. Because if you don't think you were born to run, you're not only denying history. You're denying who you are."

I started my run with that mantra. And I finished my first four-miler feeling like I had at least another one in me. The kids both ran about a mile each, following either their Dad or I as we pounded down the pavement.

As I ran, hand in hand with my children, I realized what a powerful event had occurred. For the boys as well - to see their parents running at night, laughing with each other, speeding up and slowing down to try and keep pace (RunMan and I run completely different natural speeds) with each other. They ran their best too. Always asking how many meters or miles they had run.

I walked in my house with my husband, my kids, and myself. Knowing exactly who I am. A runner.

Hundred Yard Dash

Sometimes I need a meme or a tag to get myself back in the blogging world - just like doing a dash. Thanks to Cross Country Squared for providing me with one I could do this morning at breakfast!

Answer the following questions with only 1 word answers...

1. Where is your cell phone? charger
2.Your hair? curly
3. Your mother? wonderful
4. Your father? caring
5. Your favorite food? mexican
6. Your dream last night? intricate
7. Your favorite drink? h2o
8. Your dream/goal? satisfaction
9. What room are you in? kitchen
10. Your hobby? non-fiction
11. Your fear? disappointment
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? healthier
13. Where were you last night? Fair
14. Something you aren't? shy
15. Muffins? top?
16. Wish list item? shoes
17. Where did you grow up? foothills
18. Last thing you did? errands
19. What are you wearing? jeans
20. Your TV? unused
21. Your pets? children
22. Your friends? bountiful
23. Your life? sweet!
24. Your mood? gooooooood
25. Missing someone? always
26. Vehicle? Sylvia
27. Something you're not wearing? socks
28. Your favorite store? um....
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When was the last time you laughed? morning
31. Last time you cried? orientation
32. Your best friend? complex
33. One place that I go over and over?
34. One person who emails me regularly? library
35. Favorite place to eat? Out

I tag anyone who might need a little dash for the morning!

Bling bling

Here they are folks. My new shoes:

Nothing fancy. Avia brand that I got onsale and used a $5 gift card!

Some day I'll have fancy shoes that were fit for me.

For right now though - these are perfect.

Note to self

Note to self:

Take pictures of new shoes.

They aren't much - but some day I'll look back and remember what a sacrifice it was just to get them.

AM PM

When I was little my Uncle would take us to AM/PM a lot. To be honest I'm not sure what we got...but at some point, in the back of his white Toyota pick-up truck my cousins, brothers and I took it upon ourselves to make up an AM/PM song. Maybe it was the mix of ages, the close space or the Slurpees we'd devored...but we thought it was hilarious and it stuck with us for years. Even now it pops into my mind. (AM, PM, it's a mini-market, flying through the sky...*)

AM/PM has been a mental theme of mine today. Why? Well for two reasons:

(1) I stopped there about thirty minutes ago.

and

(2) I need to make a decision about when to schedule my run time.

In my uber-productive day I missed my big note to myself to make bread. Being a gluten-free family means that we make our own bread. Let's clarify. I make it. And I use a bread mix. Nothing hard - but it does mean that I have to take some extra time to do it. So I cannot just get up in the morning and run to buy some.

Which leads me to the stop at AM/PM...to provide enough caffeine for me to make it from now until 1.5 hours from now when the bread will be done.

Once in the store I stood for a long time before pushing that Diet Coke button. See, Diet Coke and I are frenemies. I love to hate Diet Coke. And I hate that I love Diet Coke. Last year I quit it completely. Like any other addiction (yes, I am addicted) once I have a little I want it all the time.

And it plays with my body. I cannot sleep right at night. I get hot and sweaty at weird times in the day when temperature isn't a factor. The caffeine high makes me unbelievably tired at the wrong moments. Of course that just begins the cycle again...

Oh AM/PM what do I do? Should I fill up my cup?

Here's where the other issue comes in...

I really want to change my runs from PM to AM. Both RunMan and I have been running at night. On the plus side that means we stretch together and it's cooler outside. On the other hand the boys are in bed which means we run at different times and, like tonight, when RunMan has a long run he's getting home at 11:00pm.

What to do...what to do...

I pushed the button. I filled up my drink. And I've been sitting here drinking it. Even with all these things going on in my head I can't reject it.

The benefit to all this is clarity. I know I need to run in the mornings. I tend to be more productive (meaning earlier bread making sessions!) and my day starts off, literally, on the right foot. RunMan can then run earlier in the evening and we can actually have time.

The other truth from AM running is that I crave things less. I tend to be more aware of what I put in my body because I've spent the morning running. At night I feel less aware of my nutrition through the day because as long as it doesn't effect my running...I don't care.

In the meantime AM/PM...you and I are going to see less of each other. Much less.

*the song is lacking when in black/white. Next time you're around me, have me sing it. It still probably won't make sense because, well, those are all the lyrics.

Success.

Two miles.

17 minutes and 22 seconds.

A personal record for two miles.

And I'm back!

Like riding a bike

It's time.

I'm about to set off for my first run in...um...well longer than it should be.

Being off of my running schedule has been tough. I haven't been as focused - in anything - or motivated.

I got my new shoes last week. Went for a great walk this weekend in them.

Now, I feel ready to get my groove back.

I'm keeping it short. Only a mile. Maybe two if I feel good after mile one.

I keep telling myself that I'm keeping it short because don't want to get hurt again - but honestly it's really because if I mentally try to push myself right now I think I'll end up disappointing myself. Then I'll end up wanting to stop again.

It's sad...but true. The mental part of this has always been the hardest for me. Some day it won't be.

So short. For success.

Today's notes

Today was another day-off. I'm doing my best to focus on recouping these two ankles. As per Dr's orders I've rested, iced, compressed, and elevated. My left foot feels back to it's usual self and my right is still tender.

Rather than focus on not being able to run I've pushed my mind to better thoughts. Like Henry Ford said "Whether you think you can or can't...you're right!" So...what can I do now?

- swim. My goal is to be in the pool every day the rest of this week. Work on my breathing and take some pressure off my joints.

- figure out the best bike route to RunKid's school. I must do this at night when it's only 90 degrees and without RunKid and SwimKid. The route will be easier to track w/o them and I can add their weight into the picture later when my feet are fit!

- look into a new background for this blog! I love the road but there is no easy way to read on this thing. Perhaps RunMan (aka hubby) can change some of the layout for me!!

- shoes. Face the inevitable. I need new shoes. Research this week. Purchase next week(?).

Tall Mom on the Run - GIVEAWAY!

I realize this blog of mine is new - and it feels kind of silly for me to post about a giveaway when I've barely posted about myself!

But...it's been between 105-110 degrees every day this week in our lovely city and...well, I'm tired of running in my long pants! Granted I sweat a bit more but I think I'm ready to graduate to shorts :)

So check out Mel's giveaway over at Tall Mom on the Run! And if you enter, mention my name too!

The Blistery Day

Well, I should have listened to that quietly nagging voice the other night when it said "Don't go running in these shoes!".

"These shoes" of course being the ones I have had for a year now and have racked up about 300 miles on them. I've worn through the backs of the shoes - where my socks rub up against the heel - and so I've been getting blisters. My last few runs have been tough because my body has been overcompensating for blistery feet.

Tonight, when I started my run, I knew better. At the same time I didn't want to not go because, well, because sometimes it's hard to distinguish the voice of self-doubt from the voice of reason. Never quite sure which one is talking to me.

When I hit mile one of my two-miler I knew something was wrong. My strides were short and my body felt heavy. When I turned to head back the other way my ankles couldn't take it. Both went out. Yuck.

I've been trying to keep my head up. And my feet. I wrapped them both up in tape and have stayed off them as much as possible (whatever that looks like with two young kids). Now I just need to figure out where to go from here...besides to get some new shoes!