Excuses smooshes

Yep. It's been a long time since I've been on here.

Yep. There are good reasons for that.

Yep. It's been a long time since I've been swim/bike/whating.

Yep. There are good reasons for that.

Whatever they are they're good - but mostly they're in the past. I cannot keep holding to them or using them anymore.

My next race in February 20th. The anniversary race of the first 5k I've even run.

For weeks I've thought about what I need to do to get back into the game. I wrote a training plan & scheduled it out. I woke up in the mornings with good intentions (which were easily diverted by good blogs to read).

Sometimes you need less planning/thinking and more doing.

Finally I just went running. Hooked up with my running cousin - knowing that I'd be too embarrassed to back out - and it worked!

We went and ran the 5k course - focusing on the two big hills. My body knew exactly what to do and fell into sync rather quickly. It felt so good.

And I realized again how much I love and need my runs.

Now it's the challenge to see past all the excuses I can make every morning when I rise at 5:00am to run. Instead of thinking about it - just doing it.

Fuls

No, I didn't misspell that. Right now, I'm feeling two "ful"s.

Thankful.

Neglectful.

Let's start with the easy one. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday....for the same reason I love birthdays. I find it wonderful to take a minute to remember all of the reasons I'm grateful. It is amazing when you start counting your blessings...how many you find. Big ones...small ones. We all know it is easier to see what is wrong, but I find that when I start to look for things that are right, they become all I can see.

Well, the above statement now makes it easy for me to right about "the hard one". Neglectful. I have been sorely neglecting my swim,bike,whating life. After setting a great goal...I found myself challenged by life and rejecting anything extra...like running.

Which is such a wrong move. For me when I run I feel like life is clearer. With each breath I clean out the bad and breathe in the room for change. So when I get stressed and then stop running it compounds everything. Of course then I also start eating wrong...which then makes it even worse.

Whoa. Put on the brakes. I'm loosing focus of the good things. There are good things that come from neglect. Like this morning when I finally laced up my shoes and started out. I thought "oh, you'll be just fine. You went running a week ago on a tough course and pounded it out." Oh, cockiness. Such a fickle friend.

It became evident, pretty quickly, no, it wasn't going to be easy. But I did it. At one point in this journey I would have quit. But I didn't. And I'm so grateful to be at this point.

So now we head off to Thanksgiving weekend. To celebrate, I'm stopping at every moment I get to be thankful. And starting a new tradition....the Turkey Trot!

Hosted by Alisa HERE:

Reframing

After running this morning I realized that it's time for a new goal. I don't have a race until November when it's Turkey Trot time...and for some reason that isn't really motivating me.

Then RunMan told me last night since August he's booked a mighty 196 miles.

ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY SIX F#*(@NG MILES!

According to my DailyMile I've only logged 273 miles this year.

Ok. Ok. I'm not being fair to myself. Let's reframe that.

I ran NO miles last year. Zip, zilch, zero!

I've run a whopping 273 this year.

Plus there are runs, rides and swims I didn't log.

So, rather than compare myself to RunMan I want to remember what life was like a year ago.

What my mind was like a year ago - "Me, run?" No way! "Me, do a triathlon?" You have to be out of your freaking mind!

But, those both started out as lofty goals. And I do run. And I did do a triathlon. Given that, I'd like to set a new reachable goal.

I'd like to hit 350 miles at the end of the year.

Seventy-seven more miles. That puts me running two miles every other day from now until December 31st. I didn't factor in that some family run nights we run almost four miles - but I figure that will account for any time I can't get my run in.

So here's to the next 77 and to finishing 2009 strong!!

Denial

For so many years of my life I haven't believed I could be a runner. It was something beyond "it's just not in me" to something I fundamentally believed inside of myself. Excuses, like vultures, circled around it. Asthma...weight...time...shoes...knees...weight...asthma...you name it.

Then I started running. And with time I've come to understand that I can be a runner.

I don't go far. I don't go fast. But I run. Does it still count?

Last month on NPR I heard an author talking about his new book - on running. I had kids running around my feet so I could not really pay much attention but I did catch the title:

Born to Run

I placed a hold at the library - and for the last week have been devoring this book whenever I can sneak in time. It is a phenomenal book full of tales from running present to past. The main theme of the book - we were born to run

The author, Christopher McDougall, centers the tale around his glimpse into the ultramarathon running world, especially that of the Tarahumara in Mexico.

It has given me such food for thought. It has renewed my passion to continue this sport. And it gives me power.

Last night my little family of four ventured out on our second "family run night". RunMan usually runs at night and I typically run in the morning - that way we both get our run time in without missing out on other activities. Last Tuesday we went for a run together at night and agreed we needed to make it a habit. At about mile 1.5 I was tired. Mostly because I was dreading another 1.5 miles back. RunMan had to do four miles that night so I slowed down and flipped around - pushing the boys in the jogger that we call a "baler". (think hay baler...that is where the boys got the name)

The boys kept taking turns hopping in and out for short bouts of running. When RunMan caught up with us RunKid, my five year-old, gladly hopped out and took off with him. SwimKid, my three year-old who is a natural born swimmer, was content to stay in the baler.

Their energy and excitement helped me forget the last 1.5 miles and we made it home.

But last night? Last night was different. Again RunMan needed to do 4 miles. This time I didn't hesitate to join him. All because of one thing I read in the book that Dr. Dennis Bramble (go Utes!) said:

"Just move your legs. Because if you don't think you were born to run, you're not only denying history. You're denying who you are."

I started my run with that mantra. And I finished my first four-miler feeling like I had at least another one in me. The kids both ran about a mile each, following either their Dad or I as we pounded down the pavement.

As I ran, hand in hand with my children, I realized what a powerful event had occurred. For the boys as well - to see their parents running at night, laughing with each other, speeding up and slowing down to try and keep pace (RunMan and I run completely different natural speeds) with each other. They ran their best too. Always asking how many meters or miles they had run.

I walked in my house with my husband, my kids, and myself. Knowing exactly who I am. A runner.

Like riding a bike

It's time.

I'm about to set off for my first run in...um...well longer than it should be.

Being off of my running schedule has been tough. I haven't been as focused - in anything - or motivated.

I got my new shoes last week. Went for a great walk this weekend in them.

Now, I feel ready to get my groove back.

I'm keeping it short. Only a mile. Maybe two if I feel good after mile one.

I keep telling myself that I'm keeping it short because don't want to get hurt again - but honestly it's really because if I mentally try to push myself right now I think I'll end up disappointing myself. Then I'll end up wanting to stop again.

It's sad...but true. The mental part of this has always been the hardest for me. Some day it won't be.

So short. For success.